Baby Wipes are wonderful. Baby Wipes are the answer. Baby Wipes are the shit.
I mean, for you. Having a baby gives you the freedom to purchase Baby Wipes embarrassment free. You see the CVS employee* and you're all, "Hey, I'm buying these diapers here so you know I have a baby, and that's who these Baby Wipes are for too."
So you go home, do your thing, then clean up with the Baby Wipes and think, "Aww, yeah." Then you curse every time you ever went to the bathroom using regular toilet paper. Regular toilet paper stops making sense. Regular toilet paper is the typewriter of ass wiping technology. Regular toilet paper is not the shit.
*Meanwhile, said CVS employee is a 23 year old dropout who only works at CVS because it's the easiest way to steal the Sudafed. He's ringing you up for your Baby Wipes and he's thinking, "Damn, I wonder if Dwayne** knows how much Sudafed I just put down my pants?"
**His manager.
2 comments:
-and it's almost like, "wow, I wonder why I never used them before...?!".
To think, I may have never even tried them if I didn't procreate.
Yeah, I don't even have a kid and I know about baby wipes. Camping, man. Bring 'em for cleaner camping. Was that too much info? =)
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